Diary of a Mom's attempt at exercise.

After a weekend of food competition followed by a nephew's birthday party joined with the fact that Nairi is almost 6 months old, I have realized that I still have some pregnancy weight to lose and that I consume way to many carbs.
Since Nairi was born I have been attempting to exercise. I no longer have my gym membership but that's okay as I prefer to just walk anyways. I do miss my yoga class and the ability to lift weights but other than that I am fine with just walking for exercise. But literally since Nairi has been born I have managed to walk for exercise maybe once a week when Mike is home and do my exercise video MAYBE a total of 10 times in 6 months. Not. So. Good. I sleep better when I exercise and I have a closet full of size 6 pants and shirts that do not fit. Hence my main motivator for losing weight. Can't afford new clothes right now.
So for a while I have been stalking craigslist for the swanky double jogging stroller that I want that retails for around $600. Unable to find it for less than $500 I scored a cheapo double jogger from my sister in law that seems to work just fine. Its no Cadillac but it works. Mike was kind enough to fill the tires with air this am before he left for work. We saw Keira off to school and than I put my plan into action. I armed myself with snacks for the toddler and some toys for the baby. I nursed the baby and put her in the stroller. She is sitting there and I am adjusting the straps and immediately- and yes I am not exaggerating ( though yes I know I do have a habit of doing that) she starts with her wail that she reserves for baby apparatuses. The wail that she utilizes every time she is placed in a stroller or car seat or the walker. Its the- I'm- being -stabbed- with- 20- needles -at -the- same -time kinda wail. The some one has moved me from the throne of my mothers arms kinda wail. I proceed with adjusting the straps and offering her toys and she settles down for a min. Then I tell the toddler its time to go for a walk. I dangle the bag of snacks that he so desperately wanted 5 min ago and he ignores me and instead focuses on his shovel that he is holding and his digging in the lawn. " I digging !!" he tells me. " Great well I need exercise so lets go!!" I tell him. He continues to ignore me as he throws dirt and sand everywhere and messes up the grass. So as the baby starts wailing again I pick up the toddler, throw him in the stroller with promises that we will " Go down the hill!" and take off.

We made it out of the driveway. The baby continues her whine, wail, be silent for 30 seconds and repeat deal that she has going on and the toddler starts in on the snacks. Than the baby starts grabbing her brothers arm looking for something to chew on besides the toy that I thought might entertain her. The toddler then yells "NO NO!" at the baby and makes her cry harder. This isn't going so well. As we are near the hill I attempt to jog a bit instead of walking thinking the movement might make the baby stop wailing. No dice. The toddler offers the baby who does not yet eat solids a pretzel stick and I contemplate letting her chew on the salty thing but decide against it. At this point ( halfway down the hill) I turn the stroller around and head home as I know I am defeated.
So now I am headed up hill pushing the double jogger and the baby is full out wailing and the toddler declares it time to get out. " I get out!" he says over and over. Mind you he has been in the stroller all of 5 min tops at this point. So there we are, the sweaty mom pushing the double stroller up the hill with the toddler yelling over and over " I GET OUT!!! I GET OUT!!!" and the baby crying like she hasn't been fed in years. People can hear us with their windows open I am sure and probably think I am a terrible mom for ignoring the baby, but I can't push the stroller up the hill and hold the toddlers hand AND hold the baby. We get home and I take the upset stroller occupants out and life is good again.

Exercise attempt 2. Preschooler is at school. Toddler happily playing by himself and baby has just- as in 3 min ago been put down for a nap. I put in my exercise video and start working out. 3 min into the video I am lying on the floor doing the ab portion of the video. Toddler notices that I am just lying there seemingly doing nothing and declares that its time for him to nurse. " ME ME!!!" he declares throwing himself at me. I offer snacks, chocolate, and even more desperately gummy bears. He isn't interested and repeats himself over and over again getting louder and louder. " Me me! Me me! I want ME ME milk!" I try the ignore, pretend to not hear technique and he then repeatedly throws inself into my lap over and over again. I surrender, pause the video and provide the "me me milk" Toddler toddles off to do something else and I push play. 1 min later just as I am working up a sweat ( its a 20 min video so its pretty intense every second) the phone rings. Knowingly that I have been playing phone tag with Sears over a microwave delivery and install I check the caller ID and pick up the phone. Deal with Sears for 5 min. Hang up, restart video and 2 min later I hear the baby crying. Pause the video, go get the baby, place her on the floor next to me with some toys. Restart video. Toddler walks by and I get a wiff of a diaper in bad need of a change. Pause video, change diaper. Restart video, phone rings, check caller ID. Pause video, talk to husband. Restart video, baby crawls over and starts chewing on my arm and whimpers. Pause video, nurse the baby. Look at the clock. Must make lunch for husband as he will be dropping off preschooler from school and heading back to work and he doesn't have enough time to make his own lunch. Stop video. Give up on idea of exercise for the moment.
And that is how exercise does not happen in this house.
In the process of writing this the toddler has asked for chocolate, my kitchen aid blender, daddy's screw driver and now the vacuum. He is currently sticking the computer mouse in the air vent. Some one for the life of me please explain to me why the kid can't just play with toys!!!!!!!!!!